Sonhno popoldansko popoldne. Ohe le>i na smrtni postelji. Ob
njemu je v zadnjih uricah tudi njegov sin.
> > > > > Ohe iz kuhinje zavoha prehudovit vonj po sve>e pehenih
kolahkih -zenina specialiteta.
> > > > > Pogleda sina in rehe: "Sine. Skohi prosim k mami v kuhinjo in
mi prinesi kak kolahek."
> > > > > Sine res odvihra v kuhinjo in hez has pride nazaj praznih
rok.
> > Pogleda oheta in rehe: "Mami ne pusti, ker pravi da so jutri za
pogreb."

huh..

Vozili se Zagorec i Punker u vlaku nasuprot jedan drugome... Zagorec nabil škrlak
i zabuljio se u Punkera, a on sav "in" s velikom crvenom krijestom od kose na glavi i voze se....

Punker ga jedno vrijeme ignorirao a onda plane ko munja: "Kaj, stari, kaj si se zabuljil u mene?"

Na to Zagorec odgovori:
"ČUJ MALI, KAD SAM JA BIL MLAD, ISTO SAM TAK SVAKAKVE BEDASTOČE DELAL -
- ČAK SAM I KOKOŠI FUKAL - PA SI NEKAJ FURT SPREMIŠLJAVAM DA TI NISI MOJ SIN !!!!

hvala Kali: za mail tole morm nalimat, k me tko name spominja - veste tisti, k četate z mano  8)
Po neki stidui na eni izemd angelksih uivtnierz ni vanzo, v kaskenm
vstrnem redu so ckre v bsedei, vanzo je le, da je pvra in zajnda ckra na
parevm mtesu. Oltsao je lakho posmenao, bedlesio pa kujlb tmeu lhkao
prerbemeo berz teazv. Ralozg je v tem, da ne bemreo vskae ckre poebesj,
temevc bedseo kot cleoto.

Ce ste uslepi pretrabi, se stritanje.

Three excellent pieces of career advice:

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him: "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story is:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
_____________________________________________

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, " but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
_____________________________________________

Lesson Number Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut.

Dosao Muja u goste kod Tarzana. Tarzan ga lepo doceka i povede po dzungli kao svaki pristojan domacin. Dok su tako isli Tarzan mumlja svo vreme nesto sa zivotinjama. Mujo odusevljen pita:
- Je li Tarzane, kako si ti naucio da pricas sa zivotinjama?
- Ja sam tu odrastao, tu sam se rodio, zivotinje su me odgajile, itd. -
odgovori Tarzan.
Muja se lepo proveo i sada je dosao red na Tarzana da uzvrati posetu.
Dosao
Tarzan i normalno sada njega poveo Mujo po mahali. Idu oni tako i naidu na
psa.
- AV, AV, AV! zaurla pas.
- Je li, Tarzane, sta kaze, boga ti? - pita Mujo.
- Kaze, da si ga gadao kamenom pre neki dan. - odgovori on.
Idu oni dalje i naidu na macku:
- Mjau!
- Tarzane, sta kaze? - pita Muja.
- Vukao si ju za rep prosle nedelje.- odgovori Tarzan.
Naidu nih dvoje na ovcu:
- Meee, meeeeeeeeee, meeeeeeeeeee!
- LAZE TARZANE, LAZE, MAJKE MI!!! - preduhitri Muja Tarzana.

Pitao belac crnca:
* "Kako ti pravis crnu decu a ja ne mogu?"
Na to odgovori crnac:
* "Da li ti je veliki 40 cm?"
Belac kaže:
* "Ne."
* "Da li ti je u premeru 10 cm?"
Belac:
* "Ne..."
* "E, pa onda ti ulazi mnogo svetlosti."