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Petra.
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ZaKaiRan
15.02.2004 at 13:51:16
 
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The Illusion of Exclusive Relationship


(No. 1 in a Series about Relationship)


Having troubles with this thing we call relationship, where we have an implied conscious or unconscious agreement of exclusivity with a partner?  Is communication difficult or impossible?  Are you seemingly unable to be understood by and to understand your partner.   Does the person you "love most" seem like an alien to you?  Well take heart this is the human condition and a wondrous aspect of individual consciousness.  This is a gift, a paradox whereby we are all one, yet individual points of consciousness, unique expressions of All That Is.

The spiritual aspect is easy, for we are all spirits, but the human element is definitely the most difficult.  It is easy to agree spiritually; easy to talk about the spiritual higher dimensional truths of life as a spirit in a human body; easy to agree about the universe; but the human element is the "painful" task at hand.  How to be a master in a human body, that is the question; "whether tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing them, end them."  William S.

We are all masters, spirits inhabiting physical bodies.   Many of us are planetary transition team specialists; experts at conscious awareness; ascension professionals, yet even though we are masters, we cannot seem to be able to have a normal peaceful relationship with one person.  This is insanely illogical and eternally frustrating, but the nature of this transition to oneness.

This exclusive relationship thing that we have created for ourselves is a grand experiment in having a relationship with All That Is.  When you love someone exclusively as we do with our partners we are essentially saying that we only love them, or that we love them the most.  We may be allowed to love friends and family to a large degree, but that ultimate special love is reserved for mister or miss right.

Exclusive relationship of this type is illusion, hence the difficulties. We do not in truth love anyone any more than any one else.  We may feel closer to one person, or experience higher degrees of fulfillment and wonderment, and magnificence with a special person or special people, but these are signs of the truth that we have this same special love with and for everyone.

Sure you may say but what about the human element that does love exclusively?  I must question whether this is true.  Does not the human part love exclusively only when it has someone exclusive to love?  Do we not love exclusively in one relationship until that one is over, we have released our emotional attachments, and the next one comes along to twitter us.  Sure you see people staying together their entire lives and "loving no other", but indeed this is rare in these accelerated times.  How many people stay together merely out of co-dependence, afraid to be alone, facing their fears.  Sure we set up "exclusive" relationships for ourselves, but we set these up as teaching mechanisms, for how could we possibly be exclusively tied to one individual, no one owns anyone, least of all their sexuality.  Am I promoting promiscuity, I am neither promoting it nor denying it, for we love All That Is, therefore promiscuity is an illusion as well.  
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I would say that most light workers, and most people for that matter, are hopeless romantics, searching and hoping for that twin flame or soul mate.  Or you have become disillusioned with that futile search and have given up hope.
This is natural as we are all searching for those lost parts of ourselves that were never lost.  And if you are pride-fully content being alone, I bet that there is a secret desire for your prince or princess charming to come along and fulfill you.  So what's the answer? - Follow love into the rose garden, thorns and all?  Be you; live your life as All That Is intended?  Love one person; love all people; love yourself; love no one? - it does not matter, for you are love, an expression of love, and you can do nothing but love.  

This experiment, the ascension of planet earth, is a gradual process of remembering who we truly are; completing what is already complete and reconnecting with that which we thought we had disconnected from.  Because of this illusion that we must re-connect with that which we have determined we are separate from, we invented exclusive relationship.  And because it is based on an illusion it is naturally fraught with disaster and heartache, but luckily, massive amounts of joy. We experience all these paradoxical feelings because of the illusion of separation.  We reconnect with that which we were not separate from in the first place - so we experience the joy of reconnection and the pain of separation.


Communication Breakdown - Dead Ahead


The breakdown in communication between humans is a further example of this experiment in the illusion of separation and awakening process to who we truly are.  It seems impossible to be understood and to understand due to this "separation".  So what do we do to bridge this gap that we apparently have between our fellow mates and humans?  I don't know.   I am an Ascended Master, grandly knowledgeable of the human condition and it's psychological structures, I have many tricks up my sleeve and myriad’s of technologies at my disposal to assist with this process, but there is no quick fix, that is for sure.  There is no quick fix because there is not supposed to be, in fact there is no problem in the first place.  

Mis-communication and un-understand-ability is a gift of this creation, a wonderment of the individual nature of us all.  An obvious sign that we are all unique creations of All That Is with individual perceptions of reality.  We are all individual Universes, perceiving and experiencing reality in our own unique way.

Why are we not able to understand each other?Perhaps we are not supposed to.  Our mental processes operate in the future tense; our emotional bodies reference reality from past experience; our physical bodies are in the present, and our spiritual bodies are in no time - so no wonder things are so confusing.    Not to mention that the sun has a tilt to it which hinders communication and understand-ability between humans, especially between men and women.  
Of course there is huge pain involved with this because we all get sent into the deepest darkest places within our consciousness where we feel separate, alone and abandoned.  Why do people get so dramatic when there is a possible break up situation?  Obviously it is because we are all afraid of being abandoned, or more accurately we are all avoiding the feeling that we have been abandoned by our Spirits and All That Is.  Of course this is an illusion, but it sure feels real.  It was a good creation we devised so that we could deny our magnificence and act like we were humans.  All mis-communication is an illusion, it is a game we played so we could feel and experience separation; it requires us to surrender to the mystery, to the confusion, to the insanity.


So it doesn't look like there is much hope for the average relationship.  In one sense this is true, there is absolutely no hope; there is no hope for relationship based on the old ways of perceiving how it is or should be.  The old relationship is dying and we are birthing the new relationship - Oneness with All That Is; so with this in mind, there is all the hope in the world.  This new relationship is the new civilization.

The planet is shifting to a higher dimensional realm where the illusion of separation will finally be put to rest.  Then we can sit on the edge of the dimensions and laugh about the lunacy of it all with all those beings that we played the game with, especially those that we played the game of exclusivity, dependence, ownership and abandonment with.  Love then can be seen for what it truly is.

So what is the point of continuing. Why not just keep all our relationships casual and detached, wait for the "big" shift, or live life from a spiritual ideal that we do not need anyone.  Well false detachment obviously won't do it for us because we do need someone, in fact we need everyone because we are everyone.   We as humans need affection; and caring; and conversation; and intimate sexual interaction.  We need friends; and family; and children; and joy; and fun; and adventure; and heartache - because this is being human.  Being human is not being spiritual, you already are spiritual, you are a spirit having a human experience not a human having a spiritual experience.  It is about being who you really are as a spirit/human, and that seems to be a gradual process of revelation.  Being human is about experiencing more of self through self (relationship with "another" person), and giving yourself more love through the "other" person loving you - loving self through self.

The realizations and awakenings of Self to All That Is that are experienced through intimacy are truly a great wonder of the workings of the universe.  I will always be drawn to relationship with the one and with the many, because the doors of love that are opened up, and the fears that are vanquished with intimacy are awesome, inspiring and truly a gift of separation and oneness.

I love being alone, experiencing my own solitude and wonderment, the intimacy of myself - but it is indeed a gift of All That Is to experience more of myself by intimately experiencing the essence and gifts that another person has to offer me; by experiencing self through the illusion that I am separate from my self; by experiencing self through self.

I will continue to jump straight into the fire of love just to see how hot it can get and how much heat I can handle.  I will continue to be the adventurer that I am and quest the final frontiers of love experienced with another being.  I will always be attracted to fellow adventurers of truth, love, and consciousness, and to their own individual unique qualities, essence and beauty.  I will always follow love wherever it may lead me, even if it appears like a dark dangerous alley way.  I will follow with as little hesitation as possible in my step.  I will always go wherever love leads, as there is no other direction to go. There is nothing but love, and all experience is an expression of love.  I will remain eternally romantic of prince and princess charming, looking for "the one", knowing full well that s/he does not exist outside of self and is a part of All That Is, that which I am.


Yours forever and ever,


Prince ZaKaiRan, Knight of Love, Ascended Master and Caretaker of Humanity



Copyright ZaKaiRan Alpha and Omega
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« Last Edit: 03.04.2004 at 14:21:45 by Petra. »  

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Re: ZaKaiRan
Reply #1 - 15.02.2004 at 19:20:31
 
Dobro napisano,težje se izvede a ne?
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Reply #2 - 17.02.2004 at 21:54:32
 

Relationship with All-That-Is


The Final Frontier


(Number 2 in a Series about Divine Relationship)



The Quest


I have sent myself on a quest, to answer the perplexing question:  can problems that arise in relationship be fixed.  Nothing that I and my partners have tried have worked.  No extraterrestrial, spiritual, psychological modality or strategy seems to take the stuff away.  And simple, basic, from the heart communication has been extremely difficult due to many factors that I will outlay in this article.

I have contested that love is enough and is all that you need.  Love does not seem to be enough although, because we are in a physical world and ground work must be done.  The transition between temporal physical and eternal love, and the embodiment of this love, is key to this exploration.  The business aspects must be taken care of, and love isn't necessarily concerned with these aspects, certainly not in the manner that we think.  But even with this in mind I know that love is enough, it is just not enough in how we would like it to be - Love is sufficient unto itself.


From a fairy tale perspective love is supposed to heal everything.  Why doesn't it then?  Because love is not as we have romantically fantasized.  Love will not fix a problem by solving it in an old world linear way, love does not work linearly.  Love is efficient although, and isn't very concerned about hurting your poor feelings or not.  If your foundation is built upon unstable ground than love will create an earth quake so that you will build your foundation on more stable ground.  The fastest way to truth is not to take pain away, this is avoidance and denial of truth.  The fastest way to truth is through the shit, through the illusions of separation, and love will always find the most efficient path to Divinity.  Love does not take the pain and dramas away, if anything love brings them up; it evokes suffering that already existed but was previously hidden.  

Love does not heal things directly as if it is some magic wand that will take your suffering away, that is not it's job; that's your job, to see truth so that suffering is seen for the illusion that it is, and love assists directly with this by illuminating the illusions.  Our attention on love and truth heals all wounds and 'fixes' problems by enlightening you to the truth that you are love and not those wounds and pain that you think need fixing.  We are healed by our attention being on love; by truly seeing love; by being aware of love in all things, that all is love and we are love.  Aware that love is always present amongst all the pain, it does not go anywhere.  Just because you 'hate' someone in this moment does not mean that you don't 'really' love them.

So in this instance love is enough and sufficient unto itself, it does not need to do anything, just its presence is enough to shake your limbs and cause you to find the truth of your beingness.  Love evokes pain to illuminate truth.  In this case love seems pretty dastardly to evoke our pain, how can love be so mean, didn't we all think that love was nice and sweet?

Love does not fix things because love is an eternal unchangeable essence, it is not a doing, it is a being.  Love will not fix anything because in truth nothing needs to be fixed.  Things that need fixing are of the world of form, the world of illusion, and there is always something to be fixed in the world of form.  If things could be fixed with manipulation and control then there would be no problems in the world today.  There is a never ending supply of broken, faulty, imperfect things to be continually repaired and improved - nothing is perfect in the world of form.  If nothing else, love will illuminate these faulty things that we have judged so that we will see the truth of them.



You Are Love

Love must be seen for what it really is and embodied - you are love!  Love is not something you obtain by some strategy.  Living an idealistic way that all is love and because of this I can deny that problems exist, will not help you, this only delays the inevitable, and without a doubt, love will put your shit in your face to look at.  This idealistic way of operating is on the right track but you cannot really live based on concepts and ideals, these things must be real for you and embodied, or they will fall away as the illusion they are.

So if there are things that need fixing, then how do we go about fixing them?  First off what needs fixing?  Just the problem of tallying up everything that needs fixing is a huge and daunting project.  Then how to fix every problem is an even bigger project.  Problems in relationship pop up continually.  More and more separation dramas continually pop up to be dealt with or avoided.  Every relationship would have a huge backlog of shit that hasn't been dealt with.  Can we ever catch up?  I do not think it is possible.  If you've been together in an intimate committed relationship for 2 years, it would take you 2 years of therapy to work out all the problems that popped up during that time.  And while you're busy fixing the last 2 years, new things are popping up, so you get more back log.

All problems between two people are problems of the individual.  When two people deal with these together they offer each other the chance to work out their shit, so to speak, thus the creation of karma.  The law of karma has been repealed.  Karma is an old structure that must be laid to rest.  The problem with Karma is it never ends, based on the backlog scenario I described above, you can never be free karmicly from anyone you interact with.

So I recommend not trying to fix anything.  Now this does not mean acting ignorant, denying everything from some ideological spiritual base.  What it really means is take responsibility for what you can and leave the rest to God.  We have a lot on our plates to deal with here, and I recommend giving yourself a break and being gentle with yourself and your mate.

God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference.


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Reply #3 - 17.02.2004 at 21:55:26
 
The Illusions

From a planetary transition perspective, the problems that arise in relationship come up because they are illusions, and illusions must be enlightened.  If you are a planetary transition team member, (a light worker), then you will be required to dig deep within your consciousness to heal a lot of wounds of relationship - the wounds of separation.  And most times you will be required to do similar work over and over again.  This is because once you are good at transmuting things to higher potentials, All That Is will use you further to transmute similar patterns again and again for the planet and human consciousness.


 


That which you truly are, pure consciousness, is always at work with all the illusions of separation, transmuting them to higher states of consciousness.  Your form is not aware of everything you are doing.  To transmute 3d illusions of denial of Divinity, these structures must be put through your character, this is how it works.  You will not know the full details of what 'who you truly are' is doing and everything you are feeling.  More than likely what you will feel will not feel good.  It may be painful, it probably will be confusing.  Regardless, don't rack your brain trying to figure it all out.  All that you are is hard at work pumping through more than you can process intellectually and emotionally.  Things are happening fast, this Ascension is happening at light speeds, so we are required to work hard and fast.  So I recommend giving yourself a break and not trying to figure everything out.  Lead a simple life as a master, do your work and have fun.

  Therefor trying to figure out everything you are feeling and why, is basically a waste of time.  And trying to fix all the shit you are feeling is an even bigger one.  These things are already being fixed by All That Is and 'all that you are', you do not need to 'do' anything, the work is already being done.  'All that you are' and the Ascended Masters are always hard at work transmuting reality. And you may be required to dig deep in your consciousness and feel terrible things.  You may be required to do or say yucky confronting things.  You may even be tricked by Divinity, your true self, tricked into growth.  Divinity will tell you anything to get you where you need to go.  This is why when we are in relationship we say really stupid and hurtful things totally out of character for ourselves, to trick each other into awakening.  What a great way to expand consciousness at quantum speeds, by digging up shit, wading in it up to our necks so that we can see the truth of All That Is.  All illusions must be shattered, and 'you will' shatter them.  This is the job you signed up for, not to live some fantasy, but to truly live reality.  You are not here to muck around, you are here to Co-Create Heaven on Earth.

Exhausted from all this spiritual work?  Have you reached your capacity?  Need a break?  You can request one; you can say no to spirit, to All That Is; this is your free will choice.  The repercussions of this choice will be significant although.  You may feel bad that you are letting the Universe down, and your ignorance may not be as blissful as you think.  But this is your stuff, All That Is knows you are under a lot of pressure, and does not judge you for a nanosecond.  Remember you actually have no contracts with All That Is except to be here and do what you do naturally - be yourself.  Your presence on planet earth is enough.


Opportunities For Growth

Instead of questing to fix problems, (viewing them as obstacles), shift your perspective to include that these are opportunities for growth, an avenue of awareness for learning more about self, truth and All That Is.  Opportunities to see the illusions for what they truly are, revealing that of ourselves that we are not necessarily at peace with.  Illusions are transformed by using them - not by fixing them, taking them away, or avoiding them.  Discovering the truth of these illusions is the real quest, you cannot get rid of anything, All That Is cannot get rid of any part of itself.  All must be enlightened, all must be loved and allowed.  All must be seen for the truth that it is.  There is no bad, there is no good, there is nothing wrong with anything.   All must be seen as it truly is - a manifestation of All That Is; a part of the drama of the illusion of separation;  a form, and forms are temporary, to be played with and utilized for the experience called life

In the typical old form of relationship, we all looked for the perfect mate that would bring us fulfillment.  This is the root of all dramas, we are relying on the world of form to fulfill us, something we already are therefor already have.  We search for that which we already are.  This type of dysfunctional relationship is something we are actually attempting to avoid as we quest for truth and the optimum peaceful relationship.  This old form of relationship has many problems with it and very little peace.  One is its inherent exclusivity.  In and of itself there is nothing wrong with exclusivity, it is our perception of it that is faulty.  Inherent in this exclusivity is the pressure we place on another person to satisfy our desires and fulfill us physically, emotionally and spiritually.  We look to another person to make us happy; to provide security; to have similar tastes and desires; and to have similar spiritual and psychological viewpoints.  If they do not, then our feelings of separation are evoked, and we dislike feeling separate from our mates, as we dislike feeling separate from ourselves and All That Is.

All dramas in the world of form between all humans, in all types of relationships, are because of this scenario.   The pressure we place on one another to fulfill each other is immense, and none of us are 'really' up to the task.  And the pressure we place upon each other to keep us from feeling separation is even greater.

Typically all dramas between people sound and look like this:  you aren't doing the right thing so that we can be happy and get along and have fun etc.  In other words we have a vision for the perfect loving relationship and when we don't seem to be able to accomplish it or live the vision, we start the blame game, blaming our partners and ourselves.  The eternal quest, the illusion of fulfillment - happiness.  If we aren't getting it, aren't accomplishing it, or living it, we immediately start looking for someone to give it to us, or get it from.  If we can't get it then we start looking for someone or something to blame.  We try to find out what is broken and look for solutions to fixing them.  Inherent in blame is projection, giving the other partner your pain and calling it theirs.  Reciprocally your partner gives you their pain and calls it yours.  So the illusory search for happiness and fulfillment from the temporal world of form continues.  


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« Last Edit: 17.02.2004 at 23:13:24 by Petra. »  

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Reply #4 - 17.02.2004 at 22:10:29
 
We Are Fulfillment

Fulfillment, freedom, liberation, enlightenment - these ways of being do not come from anywhere (certainly not from another person).  We 'are' fulfillment, we 'are' freedom, we  'are' liberation.  These things cannot be obtained, for if they can be obtained then they can be lost again.  If they can be lost then they never existed and you never really had them.   You only had a concept of them, a feeling of them, an expression of them.

Is your mate not doing the "right" thing so that you can both have a happy fulfilling relationship.  Is your head saying:  if only they did this and didn't do that then I wouldn't feel hurt and we could be happy.  And are you telling them to be this way and not be another way and be this way for you. If so, you are using them to be your need fulfillment machine; to satisfy your insecurities and to take your pain away. We have no right to project this on to others when we should be finding fulfillment within.  We are all free spirits, it is not our job to provide fulfillment for another.  It is not our job to satisfy the needs, desires and insecurities of others.  It is not our job to take anyone’s pain away or be anything for anyone.  It is our job to 'Be Who We Truly Are'.  You cannot be 'who you truly are' if you are trying desperately to fulfill another persons needs - you essentially become their slave.  And You cannot be 'who you truly are' if you are trying desperately to get someone to fulfill your needs, then you become the slave driver.  

Are you also beating yourself up because you can't do it either. You just can't communicate well enough; don't listen well enough; don't speak from the heart enough; you indulge in emotions or intellect; you project right and wrong on your mate; you get depressed, or dramatic and loud; you don't say the right things at the right time etc. - please give yourself a break.  Your fulfillment is not dependent on what you do or on what anyone else does.  Who is the doer?  You experience doing but you are not the doer.  You are a spiritual essence that experiences you doing and acting out dramas.  This is why we are called human beings not human doings.

Fixing a relationship is really fixing self.  Therapy sessions do not fix the relationship, the relationship improves if the two people realize that their personal fulfillment does not come from another person.
When people realize fulfillment cannot be obtained, then relationships improve.  They improve when people realize that committed relationships are about providing sanctuary for each other, safe ground to be a master, to be who you really are, not to dysfunctionally try to provide things for each other.  A healthy relationship "should" provide a safe playing ground to realize the truth of your divinity. The truth that you are truth.  That you are 'All That Is' and there is no separation between you.   The spiritual work that we do and embody is a gift for our mates.  That which is available in our consciousness that is truth and is embodied, becomes available to our mates if they have the perception to see it and embody it for themselves.

 In the old scenario we have all gone from one relationship to another searching for the "one" that will be that perfect mate and provide everything that we feel we are lacking.  To fill that hole of insecurity, to calm our nervous emotions, to take our pain away and help us not feel separate from All That Is.  This romantic fairy tale is completely dysfunctional in the new civilization and not personally liberating.  It does not offer liberation in and of itself, but liberation can be evoked from it.


Separation

All dramas between people come from the feelings that we are separate from each other.  (You are not your feelings and you are not your thoughts.)  This is one reason why we enter exclusive relationships, to not feel separation.  The illusion of fairy tale oneness by joining with another in relationship, is destined for disaster.  This is why it is a fairy tale not reality.  If it was reality we would have no need for fairy tales and romance.   This fairy tale romance is destined for disaster because it brings up all our deep pains about separation and brings up our feelings that we are separate from each other and All That Is.  The illusion is that the fairy tale romance will make us feel oneness, and at first it does, as the relationship has not yet developed any excess emotional baggage, and spirit is free to roam.  Oneness is always present, but your attention more than likely was on a concept of oneness, a feeling of oneness, and soon the illusion falls away as do all things in the world of form.

When you are getting along, and happy and having fun, you don't feel your pain of separation.

Any discord between you and you immediately feel all your pains of separation.  Or more accurately, your pain of separation has arisen and there is now discord.  Then the fights begin, as we struggle for control and denial of what we are feeling.  We struggle to feel oneness again, to fix the problem.  We tell each other:  if you hadn't done this we would be feeling oneness now instead of pain - you bastard - you bitch.  If only we would have done this and that, then we would be happy.  What a circle of illusion - happiness and peace is who we are not a way to be.

The pain of separation is always lurking under the bridge like a troll ready to pop up and scare you when you least expect it.  Lies must be revealed and will always surface, and the lie of separation must be seen for what it is.  Therefor this lie must come out in relationship, the illusion of separation and the truth of oneness, the interconnectedness of all things must be revealed.  When each person realizes this lie and finally knows that they 'are' oneness, then they can truly be in relationship, for they realize that they are in relationship with 'All That Is'.  When beings truly live who they are and realize that they are pure divine consciousness and that this consciousness is the witness of all these dramas of separation in human bodies, then they will be able to truly be in love for 'we are all love'.  Love is not something you do or accomplish, it is being.  We are love and all things are expressions of that love.

So can anything be fixed? Yes, everything can be fixed, by seeing the truth that all problems are truly illusion and you must put your attention on 'that which you truly are'.  If you put your trust and attention on the world of form you will experience suffering, guaranteed.  If you would like to not experience suffering - find out who suffers, find that which witnesses and watches this human drama unfold; you will find 'who you truly are'.  If you put your trust in that which is truly real, then there is nothing to be fixed as there is 'no thing'.  And these problems are gifts as they point to 'that which you truly are'.  They highlight what you truly are by emphasizing that which you are not.

If you want security - discover that you are security.
If you want fulfillment - discover that you are fulfillment.
If you want freedom - discover that you are freedom.
If you want liberation - discover that you are liberation.
If you want enlightenment - discover that you are enlightenment.
If you want to ascend -  discover that you are Ascension.  
 
Accomplishment, figuring things out and organizing our lives in cute packages no longer works.  We are free spirits, we cannot be packaged, we cannot be figured out, and we cannot be fixed.  We do not need to become enlightened, obtain anything, be anything, earn anything or learn anything, as 'we are all things' and 'no thing'.


We 'Are' Enlightenment


Freedom, liberation, enlightenment - these are concepts of limitation.  These concepts are usually used in a context of accomplishment, something to aspire to and obtain.  If I do that, and follow this, and study that, and be this way, then I will be liberated and attain enlightenment.  The truth cannot be obtained for we are truth.  Liberation cannot be attained for we are liberation.  Enlightenment cannot be obtained - for we are enlightenment.  True liberation comes when you let go of the search; when you let go of trying to accomplish anything; when you let go of your spiritual glamour, and realize that you are liberated because - you are liberation itself.

So how do we accomplish a successful relationship from this perspective?  A successful relationship cannot be "accomplished".  The mere act of grasping for success implies the possibility of failure.  You cannot have success without failure.  If you succeed and obtain "fulfillment" through being with another, inevitably this will fall away.  The world of form constantly changes, relationship constantly changes, you do not!  That which you truly are is eternal and never changes, it is consciousness itself.

By being who you truly are, knowing who you truly are, that you are consciousness, All That Is - relationship is accomplished - "because all that you are is relationship with All That Is".  Relationship just is, it is not something you obtain, it is who and what we are.  We 'are' Relationship.  There is no separation between anyone for we are all one, we are all the same consciousness stream experiencing the same illusions of separation.  We are divine actors playing our parts in a grand drama.

So once again can a "successful" relationship be accomplished?  Yes, because we are accomplishment, we are the other person, it is already a success, it is already accomplished.  Be still within your being.  Be still with each other knowing you are one, knowing that 'you are your mate'.  Leave the relationship alone, it will take care of itself.



In the next dimension there will be no need for exclusive relationships, we will no longer need to explore ownership, abandonment, infidelity and other illusions of separation; so enjoy them now while you can, and accept the gifts of Divinity that they offer.

We do not need relationships to fulfill us because we are all sovereign entities, whole within our beingness, within the oneness of All That Is.  But we do need relationship - because everything is relationship.  The world of form is one big giant intertwined relationship.  As a species we need love and affection, they are part of the gifts of All That Is and the joys of life.  On a physical health level even standard medical science knows that humans need regular love and affection to maintain optimum health, without it we deteriorate and die.

In the world of beingness, there is nothing but Love,
In the world of doingness, there is nothing but Relationship - Alarius


All relationship is about our relationship with All-That-Is.



With Love,


ZaKaiRan



http://www.geocities.com/zakairan/Relationship2AllThatIs.html
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Reply #5 - 17.02.2004 at 23:20:40
 
A se kdo vidi v prevajanju teh člankov? Ker so fantastilčni!

Anyone?

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Reply #6 - 18.02.2004 at 21:36:47
 
Za začetek 1. del članka

http://www.geocities.com/zakairan/Relationship3CoCreative.html

The Co-Creative Relationship


Catalyst for Awakening


(Number 3 in a Series about Divine Relationship)


Relationship Recommendations:   Do not battle with your partner.  Remember this is the person you love, not your enemy.  You are only battling with yourself any way.  Do not defend yourself and do not attack your mate (in any way) - love is not a war.  Don't play the blame game, nothing is their fault, everything happens mutually, we all co-create events for our awakening.  Do not project that your mate must do anything, or not do anything.  You are not a victim. Your fulfillment, security and happiness is not dependent on the actions of another.  You cannot shift relationship patterns.  You can only shift your individual patterns, thus shifting the relationship.




Your ego, emotions and mental body will want to do battle because we feel our partner "isn't doing well enough at meeting our needs," and "isn't providing us what we have determined they should," - thus we feel abandoned by them.  Our egos will try to manipulate and control to get rid of the pain, by telling the other partner their transgression, and get them to do what we want them to do.  The mind tries to fix the problem by pointing it out to the partner so they will do the "right thing".

How do you communicate about your feelings and transactions between two people without placing blame?  To a large degree it is impossible, but read on for the "solution".  When we feel hurt and are not getting what we need to feel happy we "naturally" feel victimized and our emotions and intellect will act from this perspective.  We will try to manipulate and control to get rid of the pain, either by telling the other partner their transgression or admitting our own.  The mind will try to fix the problem or at least dramatically point it out to the partner so they will do the "right thing".

If your mate does a similar thing to you, do not defend yourself.  Do not enter the story.  Listen but do not defend your actions by details of why you did what you did.  If you defend yourself you have just entered the battle of the egos.  The mind will try to come up with the best defense to win the argument.  In other words it will find the best scenario where you are the best or worst victim.  The person who wins this game is:  the one who is the most victimized; whoever can make the other person feel the worst by implying that they are an abuser wins.  Stop this battle, or do not start it by not entering the battle field.  Find what you "need" from your partner within your own beingness.  Provide for yourself what your insecurities have determined you are lacking.


Most relationships exist based on finding the perfect person that can provide the most things we feel we are lacking, or unconsciously feel we are lacking.  When people start looking to themselves, their true selves, and find there is no lack, they will no longer need this type of relationship.

Are you through with this old form of dependent relationship yet you still fall into the old battle traps and dependencies?   Give yourself and your partner a break, this is a process of awakening.  We are manifesting the new relationship of the new civilization.  We have all the blueprints for the new civilization based on this new relationship.  And revealing it and embodying it is a gradual process as the transition to the next dimension is gradual.  You are transitioning the old dependent relationship into the new 'light' form, the co-creative relationship.


Honoring Your Partners Reality

If your mate must tell you how you should be, or what you should do, (for whatever reason they have rationalized), regardless of whether it is true or not is not the point.  If they are lecturing you from a position that you need to hear this information so that you can be better - in truth what they are really doing is projecting their own insecurities onto you. We project onto others, we lecture others, and "help" others, usually about something that we need to do ourselves - practice what you preach.  Certainly they may be right, perhaps what they are telling you is something you need to hear but in this case the fact that you need to hear it is another issue.  The real issue here is that they need to say it,  and they need to say it not for you so you will change, (although this is why they may think they need to say it), they need to say it for themselves, to hear it themselves, for self, to hear self speaking to self.  They are really expressing some lack in themselves, some need or insecurity and they form it as if it is yours.    Certainly that which you have done has evoked this insecurity in them, (that was previously hidden) but it is not the cause.  Simply put, they are putting their pain onto you and calling it yours.

We must always be diligent and be aware of the truth.  If we must lecture someone about something we feel they need to hear - we are treating them not as a master, but as being inferior, the game of unworthy and control has begun.  If your partner is lecturing you, you may need to hear this lecture to become aware of something about yourself, or to be at peace with the fact that others can see it.  But more importantly you need to listen because you honor the fact that they feel they need to express this information.  So please do your best to not be defensive and listen.

You may still feel like they are treating you as if you are inferior, but this is their stuff not yours.  If you resist their expression, regardless of how dramatic it is, you are dishonoring their reality, regardless of how accurate or inaccurate it is about you.  It is accurate for them and their reality, so allow their expression, and have compassion for them, knowing the truth of why they are lecturing you.  If you resist their expression you imply a similar scenario, that they are inferior by lecturing you and avoiding their own stuff, and not seeing the truth.   If you have compassion, seeing the truth that they need to speak for their own unconscious insecurities, and allow their expression, you are acting as a master, honoring the sovereignty of you and your partner.

So let them speak, and listen, because we are one, and when we listen to another, we listen to self.  This is why they feel the need to lecture you so they can lecture self.  The difficulty is that they may be accurate in what they are saying or they may be completely inaccurate in what they are saying you should have done or should do, but they are unaware of why they are really saying it now.  Accurate or inaccurate does not matter, accuracy is not important to a master.  If you know who you really are, what they say about you will not matter to you.  What people think of you is none of your business.  Anyway this is their projection of self upon you.  Either way you must listen to respect their right to their reality, even the right to their own delusions.  If you resist what someone has to say about you, then you probably need to hear it, or you are insecure about the truth of your beingness.
If you have no resistance to hearing things about yourself then you know your own mastery.
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Re: ZaKaiRan
Reply #7 - 18.02.2004 at 21:37:58
 
A Master Does Not Correct Others

Other peoples perception is their own individual version of reality, and they have a right to it.  And another person cannot change someone else's perception, although they can change it themselves.  You can best help them by seeing the truth and not shoving it down their throat.  A master knows their own mastery and has no need to convince others of this mastery or that others are masters as well.  A master allows others their own reality, no matter how distorted it could be discerned or judged to be, (it is real to them).



Now don't fall into the trap of lecturing them back to tell them what they are 'really' doing.  If you do this you will be doing the same projection.  If they are not aware of their unconscious, it is not your job to tell them, they must discover it themselves.  If they ask you honestly what you see happening and they are able to really receive it, then please provide the information, otherwise it is not your business.  Your business is to see the truth, know it and have compassion for their suffering.

You are unable to be with certain persons on planet earth, (especially intimate relationships), because of what arises within yourself that you are unwilling to deal with, and are unwilling to include as part of your wholeness.  Anything that anyone does or anyway that anyone is - does not directly affect you, it only affects you indirectly by what you experience within your own beingness as a result of the interaction (what you think and what you feel).  This is the truth of the illusion of victim hood.  We are not our feelings, thoughts or emotions, therefore anything that happens to us is merely an experience for our beingness and this individual expression of All That Is.


Embodying Your Wholeness

Oneness is the only absolute, and you and everyone is part of All That Is.  Therefore anything anyone does, any way that any one is, any way that any one acts - is part of your wholeness, part of All That Is.  Your intolerance to other humans is your intolerance with self, with All That Is.  It is part of the illusion of good and evil - "this part is pure and good and this part of All That Is is bad".  There are no victims in the Universe and the hideous things that people do are merely the jobs that they volunteered for as part of the wholeness of All That Is.  These roles that others volunteered for, we should be grateful that we do not have to do.  Even the nasty things we do in relationship are things we volunteered to do for each other to teach us lessons in embodiment of divinity, in including those parts of All That Is as our wholeness.  We trick ourselves into awakening.  The free will choice - face the fire of divinity, your wholeness in all its guises, or run away in denial that that part of the wholeness cannot possibly be divine or be a part of me, it is unlovable.

True unconditional self love - is loving All That Is, and I mean - All That Is!   Rejecting another human for any reason is rejection of self.  In truth it is impossible to reject another person, even to judge them or condemn them.  Rejection, judgment, condemnation only occurs within - disallowing that part of your wholeness to be part of yourself.  The result: the perpetuation of the fragmentation of self - separation.

If you are going to embody your wholeness and be all that you are, you will have to embody All That Is - for this is what you truly are.  You must include the murderer, and the rapist, and the thief, and the liar...as part of the wholeness of All That Is and all that you are.  This is true ascension, true enlightenment.  This is all an acting part to who you truly are, and who you truly are treats it this way - can you?

So back to communicating your feelings without placing blame.  This takes true human mastery, as you must cover all the bases that I have spoken of in this article.  Optimum communication would be more along the lines of this example:  "I am feeling insecure, needy and dramatic because my old world dependencies have not been fulfilled.  I know I am through with this type of relationship, so this is why I feel this way now so that I can release what is lingering on.  And at the risk of projecting onto you my own stuff, my insecurities wish you would do this, or would have done that.  And I realize that I am telling you this because I need to hear it for myself.  Whether you need to hear it or not is up to you, but I feel the need to express it."  Perhaps with this full scale communication, covering all the bases, good, non dramatic, non blame communication can be accomplished.  But everyone must be completely committed to discovering their own truth and being blatantly, nakedly honest with themselves.  And we must truly know that others aren't to blame, we are not victims of our own reality.  We are responsible for our own manifestations, and our mate is doing us a divine service of illuminating illusions for us to see the truth of our own divinity.


The Deeper Truth

If you know the deeper truth behind the actions of your partner or anyone for that matter, you do not need to tell them what it is.  Nor do you need to ask them questions in a manipulative way so that they will see the "truth".  It is quite easy to see why people do the things they do, especially if you are an experienced observer and master of consciousness.  You may be able to see how and why people do what they do much better then yourself and what you do.  But again it is not your job to arrogantly supply this deeper information or to get them to see it somehow.  They will see the truth when it is theirs to see.  Just you seeing it makes it available to them, if they don't see it after you have seen it then it is not time for them yet.


This can be disconcerting as we can feel the need to help others see the "truth".  But do not fall into this trap, for this is your own trap, trying to help yourself.  If you are trying to help others see the 'light' you are not treating them as masters, but as struggling humans.  You are projecting your reality onto them.  Everyone is a master in a human body.  A spirit having a human experience.  No one needs your help.  You trying to help them is a projection of your own insecurities.  It is based on an unconscious feeling of inferiority, a need to feel superior,  and to not feel inferior.  By telling them what they "need" to know, you are treating them as inferior, as a student, this is arrogance.  You have taken a control position of teacher.  They are not your student, they are a master like you.

There will always be a situation where someone is more advanced than you; or knows more than you; or is more awake then you; or more spiritually aware then you.  These levels of awareness are part of the plan of separation and are an integral part of polarity consciousness.   We all wake up from the dream of separation at various rates, and this is part of the plan as well.  Because of this it can look like there is such a thing as superior / inferior.  We all answer to a higher authority and work for the Divine Plan, All That Is.  But this authority is ourselves on higher dimensions, so the superior / inferior perception is an illusion and only inherent to dimensional perception, in this case the 3rd.  This is a paradox because in this reality superior / inferior "exists".  This is the nature of things here in this dimension, but it does not accurately describe the truth of reality.

Isn't our dramas and manipulation and denial and rejection just intellectualized pouting.  It is conducted from a child ego state.  If you didn't get your way as a child you pouted, it is no different now - we are still kids pouting because we didn't get our way.  That child whose expectations and desires were not met.  It is the same with relationship when our partners do not do what we think they should, we pout and reject them and deny affection and love just like when we were kids.  Have we really grown up, does the child within ever go away?

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Reply #8 - 19.02.2004 at 21:03:54
 
are you ready...gremo naprej...

Relationship Sabotage

Do you sabotage your relationship by digging up pain and suffering from past problems, misunderstandings, miscommunications and dramas that have occurred in the relationship?  Do you hash them over and over to be "therapeutically" worked out, analyzed and fixed?  Do you strive for good quality from the heart communication about suffering and painful occurrences that have happened in the relationship, trying desperately to be emotionally connected, to somehow repair problems between you and your partner and some how bring you closer?  Do you allow yourself to be loved or do you sabotage the relationship out of fear that you are unable to be loved or afraid to love and to be hurt by love?




Spending all this time trying to straighten things out between you, sabotages the relationship because you are spending all of your time trying to fix your personal insecurities through the relationship.  You are spending all your time in the past on the illusion of mind and emotion and neglecting the love of the moment.  This past orientation is detrimental to being in the moment and enjoying what love is here now.  It does not allow for any fun.  It cuts the spontaneity out.  How can you be spontaneous, allowing for new moments when you're constantly in old ones.  The love that we are is here now and always, it does not go away just because you are stuck in an emotional rut.

I know all you people with psyche degrees would probably disagree, that there is denial here of feelings and problems that need to be exposed and worked out.  I am not proposing any form of denial just a broader outlook on all factors involved.  Certainly all patterns of denial of divinity must be exposed but they do not necessarily need to be worked out between you.  All problems that pop up between people in relationship are due to individual factors.  In truth there are no problems 'between" people, as there is no thing between people, there is no space between us - no separation.

Issues do not have to be cleared, they just have to be open - able to be cleared.  This takes the pressure off of trying to resolve issues in relationship, your focus can now be solely on making sure 'you' are open and that 'issues' are open.  This allows for many possibilities of resolvement including divine intervention.


Compromise

Communication about the problems of relationship from the old world perspective that we are somehow victims to what our mates do, that we are not responsible for these manifestations, is deluded, a waste of energy, and only further damages the relationship.   In psychological circles I have seen therapists attempt to remedy these conflicts with compromise; this strategy works to some degree because it diplomatically creates peace for the relationship, but it does not get to the root of the problem and create peace within individual consciousness; it is a short term solution in favor of a quick fix, to avoid really going deep within beingness to find the real conflicts within, that partners are projecting onto each other.


Compromise does not encourage personal awareness, therefore it is not personally empowering and dishonors your unique perception of reality, your idiosyncratic way of seeing and experiencing life.  A Master does not compromise their truth for any one; a master knows that they are a unique expression of All That Is, and that expression is honored by All That Is.  No part of the wholeness of All That Is gives up any part of itself for another part of itself, as if that part of All That Is is more important than another part of All That Is.  We all have our own perception of reality and our own vision of true relationship, so compromise really is agreeing to disagree, or agreeing that you have different perceptions of reality, because you are separate entities, living in separate bodies, viewing the Universe in your own unique way.

Compromise is an illusion, you cannot actually compromise any part of yourself; you can temporarily delude yourself to perceive reality from someone else's programming, but ultimately everyone will wake up to the truth of their magnificence.  The best example of this is the cultesque addiction to religion that humans have on this planet, where persons zealously believe and preach dogmatic doctrine, in order to belong to something bigger then themselves, to belong to something that they feel separate from and must attain.  They still have their own unique perception of reality, they are still magnificent beings, unique expressions of All That Is, except the truth of their beingness is being repressed by brain washing.


Projection

Dramas that pop up between people are due to partners projecting their stuff onto the other; projecting their pain onto the other and calling it theirs; at trying to work out their own stuff through another person.  There are no victims in this or any Universe, you are responsible for your own manifestations.  Your stuff is your stuff.  Their responsibility is their own stuff, and your responsibility is yours.  Any problem you have with someone "doing something to you" or "not doing something" is a projection of your own insecurities.  Unless you are able to take full and complete responsibility for your own feelings and dramas and reactions and judgments; you will project onto your mate your stuff and will more than likely want to work it out between you to "heal" something or fix something.




There is nothing to be worked out between you because there is 'no thing' between you.  If there is anything to be worked out it is only your own awareness of the truth of what you need to learn from this interaction and from all the problems that have popped up "between" you.  What your partner does is inconsequential in regards to its affect upon the relationship.  The relationship is only affected by the individual perceptions of it and on it.  A relationship is a creation based on two individual perceptions of themselves.  The health of this relationship is completely dependent on these individual perceptions and the degree to which these individuals take responsibility for their own consciousness.

With this in mind, a majority of the communication about the relationship should be objective.  In other words everyone should limit communication from the victim position of  "you did this; and I feel this way; and I wish you would do this, or wish you would have done that; and even, I wish I had done that".  That form of communication is past referenced from a perspective of removal of pain, trying to remove your pain is a waste of time.  You must go into the pain to discover what is eternal beyond all the pain, to where pain is inconsequential and does not matter when compared to the expansiveness of your true beingness.

The majority of your communication should be about your own insights gathered via the interaction within the relationship, when you have gathered up all the gifts you learned through the conflict that arose.  Share what you have learned about self and All That Is through your interaction with another aspect of your self (your partner).  They are an aspect of self, so anything you feel that is of a victim/abuser realm is pure fantasy.  Even if it looks like victim/abuser is real, it is not.  Even if it feels real, it is not.

You are ultimately in control of your life, and you are especially in control of your perception of your life.  How much of your life do you have the courage to take responsibility for?  If you are missing out on this moment because you are busy hashing out an old one than you are sabotaging yourself.  If you are stuck emotionally in a past hurt, hashing it over and over in your head, feeling the hurt over and over again, imagining it over and over again, then how can you be in the moment - you are indulging in victim hood to try to have control.  If you are in a rejection pattern because you're stuck in your illusion of victim hood, then how can you be open to allowing love in this now moment.

It is not your partners job to help you work out your stuff, to help you take responsibility for what is yours.  Repetitive communication about problems of the relationship puts unnecessary pressure on the relationship, something that it does not need if it is to continue healthily.  There is no problem with any relationship, the only problem is with each individuals awareness within the relationship, and the degree to which they are aware of their own self and take responsibility for this self, and to the degree that they allow themselves to love and be loved

Assuming things based on your fears and emotional dramas is obviously detrimental to the relationship.  i.e. the projection of jealousy upon your mate based on your insecurities; another example of giving your pain away to them and calling it theirs.  By assuming things based on your dramas and projections towards your mate, you will miss out on now moments, on now fun.  You can be so busy  being dramatic and depressed and spiritually pondering the details of relationship that you miss the fun of the moment for yourself, your partner and the relationship.  Partners need to realize self first, then relate these gifts of self that were discovered and evoked from the relationship.  Then even the suffering is seen as a gift instead of something to avoid.  Problems of relationship are no longer problems but ways to learn more about self and the truth of beingness.
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Reply #9 - 19.02.2004 at 21:07:48
 
The Trap of Rejection

Don't cut off the love supply!  This is a big control trap to fall into.  Typically when we have a conflict with our mates, we fall into this trap and we both immediately start playing the control game of starving each other of affection and love in a desperate act of retaliation because our mate has 'hurt' us.  We are caught in the trap of the illusion of victim hood.  We cut off the love supply - energetically, psychically, emotionally  and mentally.  We especially cut off the physical love supply, the avenue by which love is felt and expressed - the ultimate punishment for relationship transgressions.  We reject and will maintain this rejection until the energies shift and one of us breaks down and goes against the pattern, going beyond our fears, and pride, thus offering ourselves up affectionately.  That partner may be rejected or accepted, this is the risk you take in this game as you go beyond your fears of rejection and abandonment.



This pattern typically goes on and off throughout a relationship.  This control drama does nothing but serve your victim positions of I'm hurt, you hurt me, you bastard, you bitch.  This is no way to conduct a healthy relationship, it only serves further co-dependence, regret, guilt, and resentment - things we do not want to hang on to.  So plain and simply - don't do it.  You must feel what you feel, but get to the truth of it, your part of the drama, that you must take responsibility for.  You must go beyond feeling like a victim, even if you feel like one - 'you are not'!  You are in control of your destiny and what you manifest in your reality and what your partner dishes out is what you asked for.  Get to a place where you can be grateful for what you are feeling and experiencing, or rather what you will learn about yourself from it.  Do not fake it though, idealistic, conjured up gratuity for the shit you are feeling and having to put up with is not gratuity, you can't lie to the Universe, yourself or All That Is.

This place where you are grateful for what you gain from what you experience in dramas, is a place beyond the pain, a real place of gratuity, where you realize you now know more about yourself and relationship with humans, and relationship with All That Is - Eureka!  So this gratitude will come when you stop and give up control, when you are silent, leaving your partner alone, and discover the gifts of the drama and what you are feeling.  You can actually be thankful to your partner for providing the stimulation for the exploration and subsequent arrival of these revelations about self and consciousness.  Grateful enough to love them for it and shower them with affection because of all that you have learned about self due to their evocation and your interactions together.

Paradoxically you still may hate them for it, because all the pain you felt sucked, and you would rather be a happy bliss bunny 24 hours a day, and "it's their job to help you be a bliss bunny 24 hours a day as an integral part of this co-dependent relationship, by being perfect and never hurting your feelings".  But all the feelings of dislike and hate and victim and abuser must be seen for what they really are.  You must get to a place in your consciousness where you can go beyond these illusionary feelings.  Remember, you are not your feelings, they are merely the avenue by which you feel the illusions of separation.  You must not act from these feelings and reject your partner and play the I hate you dramas, and cut off the love supply.

If you do fall into this trap of rejection, well, that's OK, give yourself a break and give yourself space to see the truth of things.  And when the fog clears, open yourself up to love, to receiving it and giving it.  This includes going to your partner and shnuggling them.  You must do this because you love each other - remember?!  You are in this together, you are not enemies - remember?!  The dramas are not you, the pain is not you, and they are not the relationship.


 
Catalyst For Change

Cutting off the love supply is ultimately self directed, as we reject parts of the wholeness of our own beingness.  It is self sabotage at its finest, because ultimately we have only our own consciousness, we do not have any control over anyone else's.  Cutting your partner off, cuts yourself off, because your partner "naturally" rejects you for rejecting them.


Cutting off the love supply with rejection is the oldest control drama in the book, it is the age old pattern of projecting our pain onto others and calling it theirs.  In fact you already cut yourself off from love by rejecting a part of the wholeness of All That Is as not being a part of you, and projected onto another person.  "A part that is unlovable therefore could not possibly be a part of me".  In fact what you are feeling has absolutely nothing to do with them, they were merely the catalyst for change that you manifested into your life for that specific lesson of awareness of your beingness.  Therefore judgment is a total illusion, you cannot judge another person, you only condemn them for evoking in you something that you judge and condemn as being unlovable within self - a part of the wholeness of All That Is.

This is the real reason we reject and project condemnation upon others - our unwillingness to include that unlovable part as a part of our wholeness.  Thus you deny yourself love and cut off the natural love that flows between you.  At the root of this is the feeling that we are not worthy of love, therefore we sabotage this supply, and feel justified for doing so, because the partner "hurt our feelings".

Now, you can comfort each other through it all - you must!  You must realize and remember the love!  You must tap into the source and provide each other that love and affection that you both need!  Cutting this love supply off cuts it off for the relationship.  If the patterns continue, the relationship will suffer and die, so you must go beyond your fear, and pain, and suffering, and need to maintain control - surrender to love!  Surrender the need to get the other person back for hurting you, by rejecting them and denying them affection.  We need people, friendship, affection and love making for health and well being of the form, it is a necessity - surrender to this, you are in a body remember?!

Love each other amongst all the pain, then the pattern of victim hood is broken.  Love each other no matter what, because in truth you do anyway.  Give each other affection, to tap into the love.  Stop talking and hug each other, let your bodies channel love.  Put your hands on each others chests and look into each others eyes and let love do its work.  This works because we all have a program that says you give and receive affection from people we love and who love us.  Especially very intimate affection including sex, because we generally make love with those we love.  So go ahead and make love; not to fix anything, or take anything away, or to manipulate energies, but because you love each other.  I'm talking about real love making here, not make up sex - where you try to passionately and lustily get rid of your aggressions and anger.  I'm talking slow, long, sweet, gentle, intimate, lovemaking with continual eye contact and lots of heart to heart, chest contact, allowing the heart chakras to sing, allowing a space for heartgasms.


The Paradox

In this scenario there is a paradoxical feeling that your partner is both hurter and healer, but you must see the truth of this as well, that you cannot be hurt by another and you cannot be healed by another.  You are not a victim and you are not a patient, you are not an abuser and you are not a doctor.  They are a catalyst for your own growth and you must see them from this perspective.  Your pain is your pain, you did not catch it from your partner as if it is some contagious disease.  You can sell your pain to your partner if they want to buy it, or you can try to put it on to them forcefully from your victim position but this is projection and avoidance and not recommended.  Your healing comes from within, you are your own healer.  Healer, heal thyself.  But all healing is accomplished by knowing truth.


Sometimes we have to be an ugly mirror for our mate so that they can see their own shit that they did not want to look at.  You will be seen and judged inaccurately as if what they see is correct.  You may actually do 'bad' things but they aren't really bad, they are only perceived that way by your mate or by you, more trickery of spirit.  Your idiosyncrasies may be seen as negative rather than a positive aspect of your beingness.  Your "rude" behavior may actually be your natural spontaneity, you doing what is necessary for the Divine Plan of All That Is, which is not concerned at all about outcomes and emotions.  Your arrogance may actually be your divine authority being expressed in the moment.  The reciprocal may of course be true about your mates behavior.

What is your perception of them. What aspects of their beingness do you judge.  In other words which parts of you are you not at peace with.  What behavior do you condemn them for that you are not willing to look at in yourself.  What do you project onto them that they should not do because it hurts your feelings.  Don't they have the right to be who they are.  Don't you have the right to be who you are.  What gives them the right to judge you, and what gives you the right to judge them.  You are not in charge of their fulfillment and happiness and they are not in charge of yours.  You do not have any control over whether you are seen accurately or not.

You will have to go through muck and mire and suffering and perhaps numerous partners throughout the years, but you will get there.  And there is available now, (if both partners are prepared to do what it takes), to go all the way, to really love.  And truly loving while being in a body is no easy task, but it is the job we all signed up for.  We are all love experts, experts at manifesting love from higher dimensions into this one, into these bodies, and being the love we are now.  And this thing called relationship is the perfect playground for this painstaking, gut wrenching and joyous work of embodying Who We Truly Are.  This is another reason why we must do it together; we are all in this together; we do it alone but with others, another paradox.  We must support each others personal growth, thus supporting planetary growth, we really have no choice, because 'we are all one'.  Supporting each other supports self; denying another this support denies your own support.  Don't you want to provide support for yourself?

Break the chain of control and manipulation,
surrender to love for love is all that is,
all that you need and all that you are.
Relationship is a gift, evoking awareness of true self, treat it this way.



All My Love,


ZaKaiRan

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Reply #10 - 23.02.2004 at 20:22:30
 
Sexuality and Intimacy


(Number 12 in the Continuing Series about Relationship)



Everyone is working with, and to some degree, struggling with this divine expression of love called sex, or as I prefer to call it, making love, although I think that there is a definite distinction between the two.

Making Love is probably the most intimate thing that you can do on planet earth, so naturally everyone has some dramas about it.  I am an intimacy junky, I am always on the search for the highest levels of intimacy possible with everyone.  And because of my intimacy addiction I personally enjoy making love more than just about anything on planet earth, although I have let go of this addiction to a large degree.


Everything is about sex just as Freud postulated, all psychic sexual energy is about relationship and intimacy.  Sex is about intimacy, intimacy is about relationship; relationship is the expression of divinity; sex is creation; life is creation; enlightenment and ascension are about creation; sex is an expression of intimacy with the entire universe, of love and oneness with All That Is.

Committing yourself sexually is no different to committing yourself in any other way.  It is, or should be, an expression of the commitment you have to yourself, to the honor, respect and love you have for yourself, and in turn expressed outwardly toward another person who evokes, honors, and respects and loves your magnificence.

For real Love making you must expose yourself, inside and out.  You must completely open up on all levels.  Love making creates deep energetic connections.  It connects up your chakras and light bodies; it makes deep psychic connections, and hooks you up genetically and karmically.  This is why relationships become much more entwined when making love as opposed to "just being friends", and why "breaking up is so hard to do".  

When you say yes to making love, you are saying yes to all of these connections, and yes to interacting on all the deep levels that follow.  It opens up past lives together, consciously or unconsciously, and brings up all of your wounds of separation, relationship and sexual traumas across time and space.  This is why we always manifest a relationship that matches the level of evolvement we are currently on, moving to, or are done with.  Whatever aspects of our beingness, including wounds from this lifetime, on this planet, other planets, other dimensions, other bodies, across space time and dimension, are evoked for you to either deal with and heal, or deny.

This includes your soul extensions, soul fragments….;  beings that are part of your soul family, even parts of your self that you and your soul extensions have left in other galaxies, other dimensions…that are in need of healing because of traumas they have experienced that they cannot or will not deal with.  Because of your awareness, and the fact that they are part of your wholeness, you will heal them or help them to heal them, for themselves and for you, because of your connection to them and for the whole soul and Monad (group soul).  So Divine Relationship, and divine Sexuality, is saying yes to full presence, with yourself and with another person, with all aspects of your beingness and all aspects of the beingness of your mate.


Making Love in Every Moment

I believe that everyone should live life like every day they are making love.  Every moment of every day, you must live like you are making love.   Everything you do should have the same sensitivity and awareness as when you are making love.  If everyone lived their lives in this manner, heaven on earth would surely be here; peace and love would reign supreme.

Real love making is the kind where you are completely in the moment with your lover; totally in the moment with every nuance, every touch, every stroke; with no intentions, no desires; where you are not trying to cause anything, or get anything.  And if you live life like this then a tree is your lover; a rock is your lover; a flower is your lover; the grass and clouds are your lover; the wind is your lover…; everyone and everything is your lover - your beloved.

Make love to your computer, make love to your car, make love to the xerox copier, make love to your pets, make love to all animals, make love to the angels, make love to the Ascended Masters, make love to the check out person… and of course, not in any old way.   Make love with them, don't sex them.  You don't make sex, sex should happen as a natural part of making love, directed only by the synergy, by the synchronis energy; just because it is the next thing to do to complete the synergy, to honor the synergy, to honor the union of the divine masculine and feminine, which is its true intention even in same sex bodies.

Sex and Intimacy

I believe that all people are just as addicted to intimacy as myself, they just don't know it, do not allow themselves to experience it, and more than likely, feel that they do not deserve it.  This is the root of all intimacy problems, fear.  Fear that they are not good enough; fear that they are bad; fear that they do not deserve to be loved and nurtured and cared for.

All sexual intimacy difficulties stem from these problems.  It is everyone’s natural tendency to be affectionate, sensual and sexual.  Anyone that is not, has got intimacy and unworthiness issues that they have not dealt with.  I know that everyone loves to be touched, and shnuggled, and stroked, and kissed.  Anyone that does not, is in some form of denial of physicality, based on some fear program and past karmic issues.

Sexuality aside, I believe that it is everyone’s natural tendency to want to experience as much shnuggling as they can.  I am not convinced that some people are more affectionate than others, and enjoy affection more.  The only difference between people is the level of intimacy and love that they allow themselves to experience and express.  Giving and receiving affection is then a direct manifestation of these inner qualities and abilities to give and receive love.

It is natural that when you love someone you would want to hug them and shnuggle them for a long time.  Depending on how much you allow yourself to experience the intimacy of it, will be the degree to which you allow yourself to experience affection, if you have someone to experience it with.  If you have a lover, it is a natural tendency to be extremely affectionate.  If both people are comfortable with giving and receiving love, they will not be able to keep their hands off of each other.

Love making should be greatly honored, it is a wonderful creation of intimacy.  It is an expression of creativity itself.  I recommend to everyone, to make love as often as possible and as long as possible.  Your focus should be on the moment, the sensuality of the moment; the intimacy of the moment; the emotion of the moment; the ecstasy of the moment; the divinity of the moment.  Result should not be a consideration.  Orgasm will naturally be less important if you make love in the moment, with the utmost in intimacy, then every moment will be orgasmic.  Every kiss, every touch, every stroke, every lick will be orgasmic.

Open up your entire chakra system when you make love.  Connect your genitals with your heart. Make love with your heart not your genitals.  Look deeply into each others eyes, look into the soul.  Allow heartgasms to happen.  Allow cosmicgasms to happen.  Be sexually/sensually divinely turned on by Love, by the resonance in your heart and full connection to cosmic and earth centered in your Antakarana/Rainbow Bridge, joined as one pillar of light.

Don’t be an orgasm addict, this is not a race; there is only the moment so don't try to heat things up; allow real passion of the moment from Divine Union, not from sexual excitation.  Making love is about making love to make love, for love’s sake, not to get to some destination.  Be in the moment of what you desire now, make love, make out, shnuggle, kiss forever…  Don’t have orgasms, be the orgasm!

Make love and enjoy affection the way my cat does;  totally surrender to receiving affection without feeling a need to reciprocate.  Reciprocate when it is natural to do so.  Totally surrender to receiving when it is time to receive.  Totally surrender to giving when it is time to give.

Present all of you, allow everything to be there, fully present and with whatever is there.   Be tantric, be intimate, be pure, be conscious, but give yourself permission to be an animal, to being lusty, the sex object; to being consciously unconscious; give yourself permission to being a balanced spiritual cosmic humanimal.

Enjoy all aspects of sexuality and sensuality.  Be a conscious channel of love.  Do not hesitate, there is nothing wrong with any expression of sexuality.  Be as outrageous as you possibly can.  Allow for total spontaneity, for anything to happen, to laugh, cry, grunt, squeel, fart, burp, tone, to experience all kinds of emotions and feelings.  Allow any part of your body to be an erotic zone…; work with everything you experience in that moment; give yourself permission to stop, to change gears, to experience everything; to channel; to have a multidimensional experience; to be submissive; to be aggressive...

You will experience many initiations in your sexual relationships especially with partners you have had past lives with, especially in mystery schools and tantric temples.  Allow yourself to release past sexual traumas, and to experience the emotions from these releases.

Love making is an honorable, beautiful, ecstatic expression of love and divinity.  It is hugely important and it is also not such a big deal.  We only make it a big deal because we are afraid of what it brings up for us.  We are only afraid of it because we are afraid of the intimacy, and afraid of the love.

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Reply #11 - 23.02.2004 at 20:24:29
 
Love

We all need to get to a place in our consciousness where we are in love with everyone and everything.  You must if possible be in love with your friends.  This must be real, like any relationship.  Love your friends like your lover, stroke your friends like your lover.
The same for your children, fall in love with them.  Love them like your lover, stroke them like your lover, kiss them like you lover.

Allow yourself to be loved by your mate.  Allow yourself to love, to truly love.  To love more and deeper than you ever have.  Channel love through your love making.  Let love making be a ceremony, it should always be treated in this way.  



Love making is one of the most grounded things that you can do.  Many beings in the spiritual realms have become too spiritual, they have worked so hard on opening their upper chakras that they have neglected the lower ones.  They have also done this to not act like typical humans that only operated from these lower chakras.   But you must be fully open and operational if you are going to embody who you truly are.  You must allow all aspects of self to be here in these bodies on planet earth.  You must be divine consciousness as well as divinely human.

The ascension is a descension, it is a process of you as consciousness, descending fully into your body.  You as personality are building a bridge to soul (higher self)   If you are only operating from the upper chakras, then you are not ascending, or inscending, only escaping.  You may have ascended your consciousness up to discover that you are much more than human; you may have touched upon enlightenment, and caught a glimpse of your magnificence, but it is now time to realize that you always were enlightened, that you were always magnificent, you just forgot.  You as divine consciousness are enlightened.  You, as personality, are trying to attain something that you already are, it is merely a matter of lifting all the veils that block your vision of your true magnificence and mastery.

Now that you have some idea of who you are, it is now time to really be that.  To realize that you are that.  You are pure God consciousness.  Embody that.  Be that.  Making love will help you ground yourself here into this reality because it is a divine avenue for combining human with divinity.  You are putting two bodies together for the intention of creation, not to create another human, but to create divinity, to create a divine synergy; to ground divinity into this reality; to ground love into this reality; to ground love and divinity into your bodies.

Releasing Sex from the Obligation to Make You Feel Better

Sexuality/Love making is a sacred act and should be treated with the respect and honor it deserves.  As part of separation consciousness, we have trivialized and cheapened sex.  It has become a commodity to use and sell and manipulate with.  Society uses it, the media uses it and everyone in their day to day lives uses it continually, to get what they want, to feel desired, loved, generate money, prove their worth….

In our lives we use it to deny our wounds of separation, to create a false oneness, an imitation for true deep intimacy.  So, in honor and respect for ourselves, for truth, for divine union, our bodies, our genitals, our sexual creative energy; in respect for the sexual creative energy of God Goddess, the universe and the entity of lovemaking and sexuality - release your projections, demands and expectations upon sex.  Give sex a break.  Release it from the obligation to make us feel better; release it from the expectation to help us feel loved, and have worth, and be fulfilled.  Release sex from its enslavement to keeping us in denial, avoiding real intimacy and real passion for trumped up sexual charge and discharge.


Also release your expectations and demands for sex to be spectacular.  Sex has become the new god to worship and compare your life with.  Society promotes the fantasy that if you're having great sex then you've accomplished something.  If you are desirable and available to be desired, then you have some worth.  Stop playing the game of unworthiness, it is a lie and not any fun anymore.

Release your partners, lovers, and friends from all obligations to make you feel good.  Don't use people for anything, even to help you feel spiritual, or connected, or centered, or grounded or loved….  People, lovers, friends… are not your slaves, require nothing of them other than to respect and honor you if they choose to have you in their lives, this is unconditional love.

Sex will not relieve you of your suffering and take the woundedness away.  It should just be a natural part of your ecstatic existence rather than some refuge away from mundane life.  If your life is one of full blooded commitment to truth, honesty and openness, you will create beautiful sex and beautiful lovers and relationships in your life.  They will manifest as a natural reflection of your inner awareness that you are love.

So as you are awakening further and further to your magnificence and embodying your divinity, you will encounter difficulties with partners sexually and intimately, as the lies of your unworthiness are revealed, and because of the fact that you will no longer be able to do what has been comfortable, you will no longer be able to sex the way you used to, and this may be frustrating, because you will feel like you've lost something.  Probably the biggest one is no longer being able to swoon off into unconsciousness, into a false world of your own, a world of images and romance.  This is no longer truthful, real and present.  Ecstatic love making is conscious, 110 percent, like your life; there is no room for denial, no room for hyped up overdone stimulation to avoid your shit.  You must be fully present, that means all the good with all the bad, no more trumped up illusionary "perfection".

With this full consciousness, sex becomes an expression of our joy, our happiness, our love, our truth, rather than some say to obtain these in our lives, to avoid our suffering and dissatisfaction with life, others and ourselves.  With full consciousness you do not give any part of your self away, or take anything, but rather allow the union of beings to enhance and expand yourselves; you surrender control to allow love to direct your loving.  Love making then becomes a natural occurrence of our already ecstatic existence, a way of expressing our utter appreciation for the wonders of the universe and creation, and our gratefulness for our existence, a natural expression of the love we are.

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Reply #12 - 23.02.2004 at 20:26:17
 
Synergy

Release your fear of intimacy and real passion.   Don’t crappity smack away real passion, and true intimacy by discharging your passion, which is really the fire of your Spirit.  Don't use sex to discharge your stress, conflict and accumulated tension.  Don't create a false level of intimacy by sexing, go much deeper.  Sex in generally thought of being a very intimate thing to do, but sex can actually be used as a resistance to intimacy, as a barrier and avoidance of intimacy.  It all depends on the fantasy factor, why you're having sex in the first place: your intentions, and ability to allow for love and true intimacy in the moment.  Optimally, all sexual encounters should be guided and instigated by love, by synergy (synchronis energy), then there is no seduction happening and no one wanting anything from the other, you're just letting your souls and bodies guide you.

Love making is an entity in and of itself.  The union of two people is a synergy, a oneness.  This oneness, this synergetic entity, if allowed, will direct your lovemaking, and your lovemaking will become the medium for the channeling of the passionate pulse of your God Presence, of Great Spirit, creation, God/Goddess…




If your love making is not instigated and guided by synergy, by love, then it is controlled by ego, by personality, by patterns, by images, by fantasy and illusion.  Your sex is just mutual masturbation.  An agreement to help each other feel pleasure, to feel loved, to feel one, to feel sexy, to feel wanted… all external agreements to deny wounds of separation.

If you are truly making love in the moment, there are no agreements, no patterns, no desires, no images…only the moment, with no where to go and now place to be, other than where you are right now.  Orgasm does not exist, needing your lover to kiss here or lick there does not exist, if they do anything it is because they are guided by love to do so, guided by synergy and it is ecstatic.  Every moment is ecstatic, every moment is an orgasm, this is true Tantra-(1), true Yoga-(2); true full body orgasms, when every kiss, every stroke, every nuzzle, every suck, every lick, every thrust is an ecstatic orgasmic moment, where your senses are so attuned to each moment of love that the love fills you completely and generates lovegasms, heartgasms, headgasms, armgasms, leggasms, breastgasms, penisgasms, vaginagasms, neckgasms, facegasms, lipgasms - full body ecstasy.

Being in the moment is the key.  There is no other moment than this one, nothing else maters, nothing else exists, only love.  When you can love and make love like this, your relationships will be heavenly, ecstatic synergies of divinity.  If you can live your life this way, truly surrendered to the love of each moment, to the deepest imperatives of each ecstatic experience of each and every nano second, then your life will be a life of joy and bliss and pure ecstasy; a life of pure Divine Essence, of pure God Force; an Angelic existence of oneness, and connection, and appreciation of the wonders of the workings of the universe; God/Goddess incarnate; Avataric embodiment.

"Ecstasy is not the goal, but the Foundation"-3




In Divine Love, Cosmic Sexuality and Juicy Sensuality,


ZaKaiRan

http://www.geocities.com/zakairan/Relationship12SexIntimacy.html
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Reply #13 - 24.02.2004 at 12:54:51
 
Romance

Shattering the Illusions



Are you a hopeless Romantic, suffering from the longing for the beloved?  Who is the beloved?  The old perception was that the beloved was an object outside of self, someone that you could love forever and would love you forever.  The search for some form of permanence in an impermanent world.  The one that would make everything all right.  The holy grail contained within another person.  But what is really contained within that object of affection, what is really contained within this holy grail?  It contains the Christ Consciousness blood, that Divinity that we all are.  Romance is the search for this grail, a search for that which is eternal, that which lasts forever and ever, something that we can always count on, something that does not change.  This is the root of all romance, the search for self and finding self through intimate relationship with another.  The search to heal our pain of separation by communing with others who have the same pain.  The search for completion, fulfillment, wholeness, oneness.



There must be distance between you for typical romance, the object of desire is outside of self.   This distance, this separation between us is dramatized and inflated, something we do naturally as actors, and fantasy is a key element in the production of the play.  In this case the fantasy is the image of perfection, and of personal fulfillment when the object is obtained, and of course living happily ever after.  The fantasy image untouched by imperfection in an imperfect world.  But alas when the object is attained the perfection of this romanticized image is shattered by reality.

A large degree of this excitement is in the expectation, the search, the hope of attaining the object, and just as when we were children, the excitement level drops soon after receiving the object.  We then had to start wanting something else to generate this emotional charge, we still do the same thing today.


This is the pattern of relationship when the honey moon is over and conflict arises.  This is the point when you are left with yourself, when self is bounced back at you because your fantasy image is now fading and reality is setting in, replacing this perfect image with the imperfection of form.  The focus then goes away from the other person and comes back to you.  This is why we hate it when we realize that our mate has flaws, because then our attention wavers from the fantasy image and we are left with their imperfection and with our own imperfection.  Our fantastic image bounces back at us and we are left with self, self conscious, insecure, fragile, emotional, dependent self.

We can then fall into the trap of condemning the actions of our mates to further avoid focusing on ourselves and being aware of self.  We become angry as if we were lied to or fooled by them, as if they put on an act of loveliness for us, and when we became hooked, the evil twin came out - the faulty, insecure, dependent human surfaced.  We feel abandoned and alone because we are left with our own insecure self, and a false image of our mate.  Many people experience at this state that they 'never really new their partner', their partner now feels like a stranger to them, and you don't feel any connection between you any more.  This is of course logical because you weren't having a relationship with each other but with your images of them.

This is the truth of fear of intimacy, it is not fear of relating with another person that is scary, but of having to be intimate with self.  And we don't want the honey moon to end because then we'll have to focus on what we're up to instead of them.  Maintain the focus (at all costs) in an outward, projective, fantastic manner to avoid self, keeping the imaginary ecstasy going so that it will not be shattered by "reality".

The oneness of typical romance is not real, it is an illusion.  There is pleasure to it, but the temporary pleasure of it masks what is underneath and what is underneath is the pain of separation.  Putting off that pain only serves to make it worse down the line as the fantasy is shattered and the pain shoots to the surface like a volcano.  This is the root of torrid dramas that arise in relationships.  All the repressed pain is kept trapped, and then when the door opens it rushes up to the surface hard and furious to be spoken for.

Typical Romance is blatantly, passionately, obsessively, exteriorly focused on an object of desire, on an object of love.  And we support this pattern and glamorize it.  It is a glamorized form of pornography, and we love the imagery, except romance is more subtle and imaginative.  Manifestations of romance are the over identifications society has with all the forms that excite us and intimate at relationship, and the pleasures that go along with it.  On a deeper level, romance is a strategy to obtain oneness and to become fulfilled.  On a shallower level it is, plain and simply, to obtain pleasure and feel loved.

I personally am a hopeless romantic, I adore romance movies and romantic gossip.  I am fascinated by the blissful, torrid, exciting, passionate love play between lovers and their obsession with "love".  It is an addiction, I get a rush and intense pleasure from it.  This passion feels good, it has a charge to it, a sexual emotional charge.  I get off on the desire, the obsession, the search, the pursuit, the hope, the loss.  It's all an act, I like the drama - I'm just an actor, a divine fool (as is everyone)  - the only difference is I realize it.  This is why I lived and breathed the movie business in Hollywood for 13 years, to see that "all the world is a stage and we are merely players with our many entrances and exits"...  This is the gift of movies that my beloved City of Angels offers the world - the truth of reality.

I love romance so much because I love love so much, and I love having fun, and the adventure & passion of love and relationship.  And I adore the fringe benefits of romance i.e. making love, shnuggling, kissing, companionship, the intimacy, the sharing, the friendship - these things are indeed gifts from All That Is to make this human drama bearable.  Ultimately, love is what we are romantic about, and what we are addicted to and what we are attracted to - in all its forms.



Attraction

What are you really attracted to when you are attracted to someone?  You are attracted to a unique expression of All That Is.  All That Is expressing itself in one unique form, a very specific individual expression of All That Is.  Personally I will not give up the romantic search for the beloved because I know what the search really is and the romance between beings in human bodies is just part of the fun, the perks of the job, the goodies that make this play bearable and fun, if there wasn't any fun to this then I wouldn't come.  It is all a play any way so I may as well enjoy what the play has to offer.



One thing that I always hope for in this movie called romance is compassion, true compassion.  When we see it, the movie is a joy, if it is lacking it becomes a tragedy.  Because a truly compassionate person is aware of self as well as the other person, this translates as self love, self respect, and honoring of self.  The pattern of focusing on the other disregards self, and in the tragedy the one who focuses his attention on another usually ends up crazy, their life crashing all around them.  And even that part is glamorized - and why not, it's fun, life is meant to be adventurous.

Why does this tragedy happen?  Because the truth must be revealed and the true search is the search of self.  All that is not seen of the truth of self must surface to the light.  And this happens because they essentially dishonor self in favor of obtaining an object instead of discovering self - but self will be discovered, you cannot be let off the hook.  A compassionate person has complete awareness and deeply feels themselves, the other and the whole scene.  The heat of passion is both balanced and honored by the cool of compassion.  When lovers develop compassion, and embody self love, it is a joy to witness, and there will be a happy ending, we leave the theater with tears of joy on our faces.  When lovers fail to truly experience self, most definitely there will be a tragic ending.  Think about all the romance movies that you have seen given to us by All That Is expressing itself through movies, and you will know where of I speak.

As we can see by these movies, to a large degree this romantic adoration dishonors the uniqueness of the individual, because our fantasy is not the truth of their beingness, it is our own creation of what they should be like or what we would like them to be like.  (Thou shalt have no other gods before me)  And your projective image locks them into that image for you and for themselves.  If they do not live up to that image we are disappointed and reject them.  We hate them for not being what we think they should be.  Their true beingness, their own individual idiosyncratic, spontaneous, creativity, with all its patterns that are probably dissimilar to you, are not allowed.  We do not want some one different from us because we don't want to feel separate from them.  We want them to be as similar to us as we can possibly get, their in lies the root of the fantasy image.
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Petra.
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Re: ZaKaiRan
Reply #14 - 24.02.2004 at 12:56:11
 
This image, this focusing away from self at another is a symptom of our assumed separation from All That Is, from truth and the awesomeness and radiance of our own being.  Both people in the relationship do this: project expectations and desires and perfect images onto our mates, expecting them to act this way and meet our expectations to fulfill our fantasy so we will not feel pain.  We are living out programming dictated by our separateness.  The old version of relationship contained within it the "fact" that we are separate and lonely.  To overcome this 'feeling' we chose to enter exclusive dependent relationships to avoid feelings of aloneness and separation at all costs.

This old form of relationship suppressed individual beingness.  The new relationship supports and encourages the true beingness of the individual, this is why the new relationship can be so difficult.  Generally relationships are based on coincidal imagery.  We obtain mates that meet our qualifications.  If they do not we discard them, try to change them or leave them.  This is an attempt at oneness, if we get along, have similar interests and have a good compatible sex life then we "have oneness".


Naturally this is a false oneness, we disregard individual idiosyncratic identity for fake oneness - to belong, to be a part of a thing that feels bigger than us.  This is the fantasy, the glamorized romance of marriage, the big ceremony, the illusion that this relationship is the "one", the one that will fulfill me and make everything all right - we'll live happily ever after.  Hype it up, inflate it, dress the bride like a virgin (glamorizing the woman, our romantic image of perfection), dress the groom in a boring tux (down play the male, denying the beauty of the masculine), make everything perfect and big to feel like you're a part of something bigger than you.

In truth this is accurate, it is bigger then you, but not in the manner that it is being portrayed.  The synergy created by two people together is greater then the sum of the parts, this is on a higher dimensional level, on a synchronistic energetic (synergetic) level.  This is another reason why relationships can be difficult, as they require you to be truthful to yourself within the combination of the synergy, the bigger creation created by the love and divine essences of two people.  A marriage ceremony celebrates the creation of this new form, a new expression of All That Is.  As these two expressions of All That Is come together - a synergetic entity is created - a new life form.

Typical glamour, the desire to belong to someone, avoids and masks what is hiding deep down below - a longing to belong to the source, the longing of true oneness with All That Is.  Paradoxically if you go right into that longing, you discover you already belong and are one with All That Is.  True oneness requires your full individuality, your full awareness of all that you are.  Focusing on another disregards self and this individuality.  This is why relationships "fail" - focusing on each other disregards the wonderment and awesomeness of self.

Self is pure consciousness, the stream of consciousness of All That Is, Great Spirit, The I Am Presence - no separation.  Yet paradoxically contained within All That Is, is the individual, the fully functional personal you that is an individual expression of All That Is - the entire Universe expressing itself at a single point.  The new romance is 'that' of you, unconditional self love.  And self love is embodying the you that 'can' love so fully, that you that 'is' love, and loves 'now' unconditionally.  That you that 'can' love, is not seduced by anything in the world of form.  It does not need anything:  techniques, methods, information, learning - these are of no use to that which you truly are, unless it serves who you truly are.  The world of form is your servant, you are not a servant to the world of form.

Behind all romance, is the fantasy of the timeless relationship that lasts forever.  A longing for permanence, that of our beingness that is eternal and naturally permanent.  The relationship with All That Is that is eternal, the relationship with oneself that is eternal.  The search for the beloved is the search for ourself, All That Is all that we are.  So paradoxically romance is true, it is real because we see in each other that timeless relationship that does really last forever, that of our beingness that is permanent.

This relationship with All That Is expressing itself through two people never changes, never ends, even when our physical representations of this relationship complete themselves - the true relationship continues.  We never really lose anyone, our true relationship with people never changes, only the physical form of the relationship changes.

Falling in love and being in love with another person, is being in love with that of themselves that is eternal.  What you are in love with is that eternal beingness that you are.  So your desire to be in love with your self - your true self, to be one with that which you truly are, and already are, and are already at one with, is projected at the other person.  And your love of self is evoked by their love for you, their reciprocal projection of adoration for you.


Old Age form of relationship based on romance:  create the perfect image, the dream boat, Mr. or Ms. right, then find the person who fits the image.  If you find this perfect mate and later you find they don't fit the image, you try to change them or you get rid of them.  Then the search continues again for the perfect image.

The new age form of relationship, (hopefully shifting to true reality), is still based on romance, where there is a "deep spiritual connection",  i.e. - twin flame, soul mate, perfect divine partner, past life lover, similar spiritual biases, etc.  It is less form oriented only because we now look for that perfect mate that is spiritually correct for us.  But make no mistake it is still based on some form, even if it is a higher dimensional form, it is still a form.  Both are dysfunctional, the new age relationship is just a spiritualized version of the old.

Further, in the new age relationship, you have idealistically given up desire to control another person, and you hope that you can put up with what ever they dish out and how ever they are.  If not, you "therapeutically" notify your partner that you wish they were different.  You still reject them and go into your "self", saying: "I am processing these energies of separation, (evoked by this relationship), but if I cannot handle this stuff that I am feeling, and can't find a way out, I will leave you or you will have to leave me".  Same shit, nicer version.  It is still avoidance of self and the truth.  Suffering cannot be fixed, and cannot be taken away by some strategy.  You must place your attention on that which is aware of suffering.  Any strategy to avoid suffering places your attention on suffering, with your attention on suffering, you will continue to suffer.

In the "Real" New Relationship you have no images or expectation of the other person.  You have no dependencies, no demands, and no projections that the other person is supposed to fulfill any part of you - this is a reality because you realize 'you are fulfillment'.  You allow, honor, encourage and delight in the mystery of their unique creative individuality.





I hope that you don't think I am promoting the irradication of romance and relationship from this reality, if you do you have missed the point, I am not interested in irradicating anything.  What I am interested in is seeing the truth of everything in this illusion that we call reality, in enlightening these things to higher potentials, in honoring all parts of the wholeness of All That Is.  I adore romance and will always be drawn to it, especially as I see the wholeness of it amongst its distorted elements.  All things in this reality have a higher dimensional counter part, it is merely a matter of finding what that is.  Look long enough at anything and you will see the truth of it, or the illusion that it is.  So in truth what I am promoting is true romance and true relationship, the manifestation of true reality into this dimension of limited perception.  I am promoting complete awareness of All That Is.

What about the fun part?  Naturally if you can do the 'new' relationship or come close to it, the ever expanding mystery constantly unfolds.  So then maybe, we can really start having fun, because we can now operate in the now, where every moment is new and offers new experiences.  You and your partners unique creativity is allowed to flow and constantly be spontaneously expressed.  All That Is is allowed to be channeled to this reality.

So go ahead and be romantic, with complete awareness of the 'truth' of romance.  This entire reality is an illusion anyway, so enjoy the illusion.  Be the actor within the play, engulfed in the part, but remember you are acting.  Remain aware of 'that which you truly are' which is always aware that you are acting.  When you can be the actor and 'who you truly are' (the witness, the audience), then you can really start having some fun.  You can sit back eating your popcorn and enjoy the movie.  You can really have some fun because you know it's just a part your playing.  You can get scared, and angry, and sad, and cry, and laugh.... knowing deep down that it is just a movie and it's all an illusion created by the big Hollywood producer for your entertainment and the Co-Creation of Heaven on Earth.  Then you can be romantic for the fun of it, knowing what you're really in love with.  And you can really love another person because this reality allows this "illusion", and you can enjoy them for what they truly are.

How much courage do you have to fully play the part with the freedom of knowing that it is all an illusion, where it doesn't matter what you do, where consequences are irrelevant, and regret is unnecessary.  How daring can you be, risking everything, with the awareness that risking everything is risking nothing.  How much will you allow your true self to really be expressed and embodied.  Will you allow your 'self ' to do whatever it occurs to you to do, no matter how crazy it may seem to that part of you that worries about consequences.  The 'real' you is not concerned about consequences because it knows they are illusions.  The real you is not concerned about hurting any ones feelings because it knows feelings are not real and that there are no victims in true reality.  Can you be a bastard or a bitch and know you're just playing a part in someone's play.  Can you be truly lovingly compassionate and caring, knowing that you are just playing a part in a play, this drama called 'discovery of self ' a.k.a. the Co-Creation of Heaven on Earth.


Blessings on your Romantic Journey,



ZaKaiRan
http://www.geocities.com/zakairan/RelationshipRomance.html

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