Ma, v bistvu niti ne vem, kje naj začnem ... zato kar bom.  

Mi petnajstletnica družbo dela ... in jaz njej ... in vse ostalo vmes. No, dobrih 15 in pol ima ...

Kot najverjetneje marsikater bodoč starš, sem že med nosečnostjo precej knjig prebirat začela, pa mi v bistvu nobena ni prav potegnila. So ble vse nekak dolgočasne, pa moralistične, al pa pridigajoče. Skratka, men mem. In sem rekla, da bom že ...

In smo rodil na tujih tleh, tko da je blo treba mrbit bolj kot ne po knjigah odgovore na kaka vprašanja iskat. Ko danes nazaj gledam, sem mela prav srečo - si niso ena bolj kt ta druga pametna kljuke podajale vsak dan, dan za dnem ... In men je vse (beri: vse!!!) dileme na začetkih "poklica starš" sproti in povsem razrešil Benjamin Spock. No, skupaj z "najinim" odličnim pediatrom.

Pojma nimam, kakšen je pravi naslov knjige, a "vsi" jo poznamo pod nazivom "Dr. Spock" (tudi v slovenščini je izšla). Je moj izvod knjige romal že v boh ve kolk družin, ker ga nikol ni blo nazaj. Me prav zanima, če je še danes uporabljana in priporočana ter citirana ta veleslavna knjiga ...

In kasneje je kar precej knjig na temo starševstva in vzgoje čez moje roke šlo, praviloma meni neuporabne oz. natančneje: neblizu. Najbolj uporabna se je pri mojih izzivih starševstva izkazala primerjalna analiza odzivov/mnenj/nasvetov na kak konkreten "moj primer" ali vprašanje. V bistvu dovolj.

In pol pride ... puberteta. Saj ne da je štala, daleč od tega - se trenutno predvsem oz. še zabavam, ampak vseeno, glede na svoje davne "lastnokožne" izkušnje, sem pričakovala in pričakujem, da zna bit tut tole moje hčere obdobje precej pestro ... Človk nekak ne more amnezirat čist vsega, saj sami veste.

In že neki cajta čutim in se zavedam, da mi vse pogosteje "teksta", razumevanja in idej ter sape umanjka ... Zato je torej v moje roke prišla, anede:

Michael L. Bradley:  YES, YOUR TEEN IS CARZY!

Prva knjiga po Spocku (ki ima z otroki & s starševstvom opravit), ki mi je blizu. Je vame tudi neprijetno zavrtala, ne le kimala k že znanem, da ne bo kakega nepotrebnega natolcevanja.

In čeprav sem trenutno šele na njeni sredini, jo iz vsega srca priporočam vsaj staršem (najstnikov) v branje in razmislek ter tistim, ki jim v dopoldanskih urah znanja "servirate"; vsaj vam. Predvsem zato, da boste (svojega) najstnika in njegove morebitne "muhe" lažje in bolje razumeli ... in sebe ... in vajin/vaš odnos. In kot njen podnaslov doda, "Loving your kid without losing your mind"!

Uf, grem naprej brat & razmišljat,

ARS

PS: Ne, nobenih procentov od prodaje te knjige nimam obljubljenih al pa zagotovljenih.  

For parents who have tried everything but still have teens who are out of control, Bradley's book is a funny, blunt, and reassuring book. Philadelphia psychologist Bradley approaches the subject from the viewpoint that teens are, well, a little nuts; using current brain research, he points out that the most sophisticated parts of the mind are not developed until the end of adolescence ergo, the acting out, mood swings, ADHD, depression, suicide, anorexia, etc.

The basic premise is that parents are still the most influential force in their kids' lives and that the old rules of parenting are not only unhelpful but destructive. Adults must take the blame for ignoring rampant alcohol addictions among teens, allowing sex to saturate culture so much that kids don't even know what intimacy and commitment are, and believing that raising children in 2001 can be easy. Rejecting peer pressure as an excuse for unacceptable behaviors, Bradley distinguishes between "normal" and "insane." One chapter describes negotiation, decision-making, and the enforcement of rules; another deals with the new phenomenon of teen rage and how to survive it.

Overall, the message is that kids can become fine people even if they screw up a lot, and you need to play the parent, not the cool confidante.

Editorial Review -  Linda Beck, Indian Valley P.L., Telford, PA - from Library Journal (2001)

Bradley, a psychologist drawing on current brain research, argues that teenagers are basically nuts. While 95 % of the brain develops in early childhood, the most advanced parts aren't completed until adolescence is nearly over. As a result, teens can appear unstable, dysfunctional and unpredictable, with temporarily impaired judgment and decision-making processes.

In addition, Bradley argues, contemporary culture further challenges teens' thinking capabilities; the prevalence of sex, drugs and violence makes the teen's job of cognitive balancing even more precarious. The good news is that parents do make a difference, and Bradley clearly explains how parents can encourage and guide their kids through these tumultuous years.

Stressing that teens are still "children," Bradley encourages parents to respond like "dispassionate cops," teaching and remaining calm even when teens behave outrageously.

While Bradley's prose which he admits might be shocking and offensive at times may be initially off-putting to some, the book is compelling, lively and realistic. Using crisp, believable anecdotes that are alternately poignant and hysterically funny (while avoiding generic examples, jargon or psychobabble), Bradley homes in on real-life scenarios, showing parents, for instance, how to respond when their teen is "raging," and how to set curfews and limits.

Bradley draws a vivid picture of what the teen is going through, and gives parents the tools to tackle contemporary issues together. An invaluable parachute to parents diving into the teen years.

Editorial Review - from Publishers Weekly (2001)


PS: Zdej grem pa lohk sam še spat, ne pa naprej brat. Se vid, da polna luna seka ...

Lahko noč,

ARS
/aka mami/